Why sell a chair, when you could sell a solid gold throne that has undergone such extensive renovations that it is now basically made of wood? And why not have a reason for learning French, like the need to establish contact with a colony of French speakers as part as your attempts to woo one of them?
When I write small ads, I like to make them exciting, and fun to read, so that people remember them. Too many small ads are boring, so why not make fun ones?
Read my fun small ads here.
Beer Bottle Lid Adder - Free
2017-11-28 - 10:05:00
I was browsing Facebook late last week and discovered that Independent Spirit of Bath were selling a maple and coffee freeze distilled porter. This sounded like an incredibly rich and delectable beverage to entertain your palette.
Unfortunately, as it had a somewhat high 19.1% alcohol, it would be a difficult beer to sit and enjoy as a pint. It would be like drinking a pint of sherry, a very silly thought indeed.
But I have the ideal tool to help you with that, a bottle lid adder.
With this exceptional Italian tool you can add lids back to bottles of beer. Not only is this excellent for taking sensible size servings of exceptionally strong beers, but it's also useful for sampling small amounts of beer to make beer cheese, or for bottling home brew.
It is free, and I can bring it in. It lacks wheels, but can be easily carried.
Please email me if you are interested.
Come And Say Hi! And Help Me Collect Data! This Friday 27th October
2017-10-23 - 12:04:00
I have written a hair measuring algorithm as part of my training that I need lots of data to test the robustness of it. The more data I have the better because more data means better analysis (up to a certain point), and most of all I like data almost as much as I like toffee sauce.
Because I like data so much, I'd like to collect as much of it as possible with the help of as many people as possible. So if you've got 5 or 10 minutes spare, I'd be delighted if you came and helped me collect data by taking a photograph of my beard with a dermatoscope. This is very simple to do and will take about 5 minutes. You don't need to have ever used a dermatoscope before or even know what one is.
Ideally I need to collect all the data on the same day (because my beard grows, which is quite annoying!) So if you are in this Friday (27th October) and have a few minutes spare and want to help me collect data, please can you come to the Laser Clinic at the end of corridor on floor 3 in the North building. It's really easy to find, because you just keep walking on level 3!
Feel free to drop by if you have a few minutes spare, anytime between 8am and 4pm this Friday 27th October will be excellent.
If you're lucky I might even tell you exciting things about toffee sauce, beer cheese, Canadian football or any of my other outlandish interests.
Looking For A Hairdresser
2017-10-15 - 21:40:00
A man with a mane as impressive as mine (it's so much of a Maine, that it's actually a Canada) needs a hairdresser that will treat the mane with the care that it requires.
Can anyone recommend any hair dressers who'll trim loose ends from a man's long hair for a reasonable price? The place my mum goes to run by my old classmate Trevor will do that, but I don't fancy going to clanger eating country for a hair tidying up. Most of the more typical men's hairdressers I know of are the sort of place that will cut the whole thing off, which is not what I want!
A Jack in a Pack
2017-09-13 - 17:47:00
Due to poor performances, including falling to the bottom of the power rankings this week, despite having the Red Blacks Grey Cup hero from last year Ernest Jackson and currently leading the eastern division's embarrassing form this year, Jacque Chapdelaine has been relieved of his duties by the Alouettes, in order to allow the team to get a better head coach.
Just like that Jack who is going to be departing, I also have a Jack[et] which is going to be departing, in that I have a Jack[et] in a Pack[et]. It's a type of coat, only it fits in a pack, which makes it very useful for transporting. Unfortunately it's too small for me as I now resemble Henry VIII, a monarchy with megalomaniacal schemes almost as grand as mine, but significantly more wives than I wish to have, so I think he prefered having wives to establishing multi-temporal regimes.
The size is large.
It is free, and if you would like it I shall bring it in for you. Please email me if you are interested.
Roulette Drinking Game - Donation To Stars Appeal
2017-09-05 - 16:02:00
Gambling is an activity frequently practiced in exotic locales, such as Monaco, Las Vegas, and university summer balls, involving lots of maths and data, and nerds, who sit there being nerdy and having data go in and out of their brains being processed by incredibly complex formulae to maximise the gambler's winnings.
If you're not so keen on the more formulaic forms of gambling, you might prefer the pure chance forms, such as the roulette wheel (although extreme nerds have managed to crack that one as well, before they were banned from the casino).
This roulette wheel is round, and the ball goes around it as it spins, and it behaves exactly like a roulette wheel does. But, this roulette wheel has a crucial difference, instead of losing money with it (because you will, mathematically, always lose money with a real roulette wheel) this roulette wheel makes you lose your sobriety, and it contains shot glasses!
I think this would be very entertaining for some form of gathering! And much less prone to long term animosity between friends compared to the more financially based roulette wheels (provided that you're sensible when inebriated of course!)
If you would like it, please email me.
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