Why sell a chair, when you could sell a solid gold throne that has undergone such extensive renovations that it is now basically made of wood? And why not have a reason for learning French, like the need to establish contact with a colony of French speakers as part as your attempts to woo one of them?

When I write small ads, I like to make them exciting, and fun to read, so that people remember them. Too many small ads are boring, so why not make fun ones?

Read my fun small ads here.

Acer Monitor! £10

2018-07-18 - 15:32:00

I have a monitor for sale. It has a power cable and a VGA cable. You want a VGA cable because it allows your computer to send stuff to your monitor, which is useful. Without your computer sending stuff to your monitor, it is difficult to use either your monitor or your computer, and that isn't very good.

You may have a perfectly functioning monitor and therefore be wondering why you'd possibly need another one. Well I'll tell you: With a second monitor you can have 2 computer screens, one which is chock a block full of data, with so much data that the data comes out of your ears and the data oooozes across your screen with an awesome amount of data that is dataey and has many datums within that data on a giant sheet of data, and on the other monitor you have the document you're working on, making it really easy to use. Alternatively you might want two monitors at home for playing a computer game and having your screen where you have your command station, and another screen where you shoot things, or whatever you do in modern computer games, since the most modern computer game I play is Civilization 3 so I'm not particularly up to date with these modern games with their user interfaces. You can also have a nice pretty holiday photo from your recent holiday to Armenia on one monitor which will be relaxing for you.

All in all, having another monitor is excellent, and you should have one.

If you would like this monitor, please email me and I would be very pleased to sell you the monitor.

Very Tough Box - Free

2018-06-08 - 17:49:00

If you as an esteemed celebrity as Packers linebacker Clay Matthews, you may be invited to play in a charity softball game. During the course of which you might discover that the ball is even tougher than you are (a very tough ball indeed!) and will cause even such a tough linebacker as you some injury!

I don't know what actually happened to that ball, so I'm going to assume that it was hit out of the stadium at some point and being such a tough ball damaged the space time:continuum, emerged in the past and met something even tougher (a terrifying thought indeed!) and became a box. Because that would completely contradict Occam's Razor and all the laws of physics, but you know how tough that ball was, I'm sure it was largely indifferent to the laws of physics!

I now have that box.

The box is really solid and capable to storing heavy objects for transportation since it has a stapled base, but also really mild mannered and gentle which explains why it was so evil to Clay, because it didn't like Clay being so brutal to Jay Cutler for all those years.

The box has not tried to eat me or attack me in any way.

If you would like this really sturdy box, please email me and I'll bring it in.

Cat Stress Relief Bubble Wrap - Free

2018-06-04 - 15:04:00

I have some bubble wrap that is actually incredibly firm air pouches that are tough, bubbulous, and can be used to protect things like bottles of wine while moving (or if you're picking up some wine in other countries you want to pack on a plane maybe).

They're really sturdy, excellent for protecting bottle shaped things.

Unfortunately they're not so good for stress relief because they're so tough, They're like the Clay Matthews of bubble wrap where normal bubble wrap is Jay Cutler, that's how tough they are. However if you were a cat, you could pop these with your sharp claws, so if you have a stressed out cat who wants to pop some bubble wrap, your cat will love these!

I have 3 of them, and each holds 3 bottles. If you would like any of them, please email me

Normal Bubble Wrap - Free

2018-06-04 - 14:54:00

I have mysteriously come across some regular, boring, standard, uninteresting bubble wrap. It mysteriously appeared in a bag, probably because I brought it in, while it was contained in such a bag.

This is standard bubble wrap, so it is excellent for wrapping all sorts of exciting items, such as Ming vases, pizzas, and sponges. I like sponges, as the paperclip from Windows RG once said. It is also excellent for stress relief as the bubbles can be popped relatively easily compared to more exotic bubble wraps with much tougher bubbles that are more difficult to burst due to the greater forces required.

If you feel this bubble wrap would really suit you (although it is really too transparent to be a suit) then please email me and I will be happy to give it to you.

Exotique Bubble Wrap - Free

2018-05-21 - 09:18:00

I have some exotique bubble wrap, it's so exotique that I'm refusing to spell exotique in a normal fashion to emphasise the exotiquarity of them, like how exotic houses are made of briques rather than bricks.

This bubble wrap was used to ship delectable liquor bottles, including a bacon infused bourbon (of course I'm not going to drink normal drinks am I!) and due to not needing to commercially ship liquor bottles, I don't need it.

It would be very useful for transporting wine, whisky or other similar shaped glassware if you are moving house.

They are not suitable for rage crushing as they are very strong, you will need several quantum torpedoes to do so.

I have 3 of these available and each one has 3 pockets for carrying a wine/whisky bottle in each.

Please email me if you are interested.

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