Why sell a chair, when you could sell a solid gold throne that has undergone such extensive renovations that it is now basically made of wood? And why not have a reason for learning French, like the need to establish contact with a colony of French speakers as part as your attempts to woo one of them?

When I write small ads, I like to make them exciting, and fun to read, so that people remember them. Too many small ads are boring, so why not make fun ones?

Read my fun small ads here.

Small IKEA Display Cabinets - £10 ONO

2018-11-02 - 12:02:00

If high winds and northern skies were going to carry you away, you'd know you'd have to leave here, and therefore have stuff to eliminate. Especially wooden stuff that will attract the attention of customs officials who probably aren't wearing Mountie uniforms, unlike the stereotype.

My parents have 2 of these glass fronted display cases to sell as part of a scheme that involves downsizing their stuff. They're really really good. They're from IKEA, and at one point they held my trophies from canoe racing, which of course was Canadian canoeing, but those now sit on my own IVAR, next to my champagne cork, and above my vast collection of Armenian brandy and Canadian whisky.

Unfortunately they are in the clanger munching land of Bedfordshire, but I can go and get them next weekend if anyone would like them.

They're looking for £10, but will accept offers, since they want them gone. So if you'd like them, please email me and I will be pleased to obtain them for you.

Beer Bottle Lid Adder - Free

2018-08-30 - 12:17:00

If you are in Armenia, a country with the most ancient winemaking tradition, then you'll probably want to drink the wine.

If however you are in Britain, a country with a limited wine tradition, you might instead prefer to drink beer.

With access to copious quantities of excellent high quality beer, you might decide to make beer derived deliciousnesses, such as beer cheese. If your beer is corked, you might even like to keep your beer especially for cooking since that's the only thing you can do with corked beer. A corked stout could be used to make a chocolate and chipotle pulled beef brisket for instance, such is the array of delicious things you can do with corked beer.

I don't know if corked beer can exist, and it probably can't, but I'll assume it can for the time being.

If you want to do such beer keeping, you may want this beer bottle lid adder which adds lids back to bottles of beer.

Also suitable for homebrew, and any silly things you can think of doing by adding lids back to beer bottles.

If you would like it, please email me and I will be pleased to give it to you.

500 GB hard drive - £10

2018-08-06 - 10:38:00

Computers are really useful things for number crunching and generally doing stuff with, including things that are basically number crunching but with pretty pictures, such as computer games. Such is the usefulness of computers that you probably have one, or at least access to one.

However it's not enough just to be able to crunch numbers, it would be really useful to store data on that computer, which is where this clever device comes in, called a hard drive.

This hard drive is a 500 GB 2.5 inch hard drive with a SATA connection (for laptops, although you can buy converters to convert to 3.5 inch). It's fully wiped and repartitioned, and I even overwrote the entire drive with a nice python script I wrote.

Drive works with no problems, I am selling because I've recently upgraded to a significantly larger solid state drive as part of one of my schemes. It would be a useful replacement if your hard drive has failed, or if you'd like to upgrade a laptop with a smaller hard drive.

If you would like it, please email me () and I will be pleased to sell it to you.

Freezer Box - It's the most, wonderful time, of the year!

2018-08-02 - 16:17:00

When we sing about how wonderful it is!

It's that time of the year again! Time to defrost my freezer! It's covered in frost and is really annoying. It kinda looks like Montreal in March when I'd rather it looked like Toronto (even though I do prefer the Alouettes, poor me).

Does anyone have a big cool box or a collection of cool bags they'd be willing to lend me so that I can use my snowplough on my freezer without defrosting all of my things in my freezer? I have basterma in there, really deliciously nom basterma from the legendary Miran, and that's precious and I don't want it being defrosted!

If you can help me, please email () and I'd love to borrow your cold storage utilities.

A Really Spinny and Silly Roulette Wheel

2018-07-23 - 10:38:00

If you want to play roulette, you could get on a plane and go to the most obscenely expensive Monaco, which is a locale famous for being expensive, or you can go to Las Vagas, which is considerably further away, but I believe, based on my dad's stories about going into these casino type places, considerably less expensive once you're there.

Alternatively, you might just want to stay in Salisbury, in which case you'll love this roulette wheel.

It spins and roulettifies the ball, and it's a roulette wheel which has shot glasses, which is excellent and strongly recommended, as you can do some sort of drinking roulette. Apparently such activities are very popular on hen nights, although I wouldn't know as I haven't been to such events, and have tried to run away when they go near me, or possibly stag dos, although the stag dos I've been to have been considerably less debaucherous than this.

If you would like it, please email me () and I will be happy to give it to you. As it was found during an office clean up, please make a small donation to Stars Appeal if you would like it.

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